Awkward for Everyone

My first nephew is due April first and my best friends son is due the end of February. So in preparation of the up coming baby showers I went baby shopping today. At a little baby boutique where the outfits were adorable and way out of my price range I met a wonderful, cheery clerk. The man was totally sweet, absolutely grandfatherly. His daughter was the owner and since she had a date tonight, he was going to close the shop for her. He was extremely friendly, after a few minutes of aimless chatter me complimenting his daughters shop, him doing the parental brag session about his daughter and all the normal total strangers banter. He through me for a little loop when he took  my hands and told me I was positively radiant. Reverting to my shy self, like I do every time someone compliments me I claimed up, but had the good manners to thank him. Nothing however prepared me for what he did next. Taking his hands from mine he placed them on my stomach. No preamble. No warning.

I froze. I'm not even a huger and here is some strange old man with his hands on my belly. What do I say to his cheerful questions of when I'm due? What can I say when he tells me I'm not even showing yet? Do I smile and say well yeah I'm not showing, I'm about five years away from being pregnant. Its an awkward situation one way or another. I didn't want to embarrass this sweet old man, I certainly didn't want him to apologize. So I lied.

Smiling back at the jovial old man I told him I was only barely pregnant and not due till the beginning of August. Its an awkward situation for everyone. I tell him I'm not pregnant he feels awkward, I feel awkward, no one wins. As it happened everything worked out okay. Just another day in the world were I end the day feeling embarrassed, insulted and violated. In actuality it wasn't that bad, at least he didn't grab my boobs.

However it gives me new justification to have an issue with strangers grabbing pregnant bellies. If I was pregnant, what gives someone the idea that it is alright for them to grope my belly. It wouldn't matter that I was growing an alien in there, I don't care that it is a miracle of life. You didn't knock me up don't touch it. Your not related to me don't touch me. I don't know you so hands off. Just because the belly is sticking out doesn't make it public domain. What is it with people and touching pregnant bellies. Its weird. So don't.