New day in a new job

Since I have some kind of crazy character flaw that says one full time job isn't enough let alone a second on-again, off-again job on top of the forty hours. So today is my first day in the new part-time nanny gig. Since my full time job starts at 9:30 I took on watching two kids in the mornings before they go to school from 6am to 9am ad then all day Wednesdays, which coincidentally is my day off from my full time job. It’s funny, the first time in a new job and the butterflies in my stomach are moshing. It doesn't matter that I am completely comfortable in my abilities, it doesn't matter that I've nannied infants and pre-teens, or that I've tutored extensively. The thought of this new position makes the butterflies riot in my stomach.

I can say, mostly to make myself feel better, that the butterflies are just proof that I care about doing a good job. However I have a sneaking suspicion it has more to do with a fear of failure. Everyone fails at something at some point. I have my failings and failures. I’m not so afraid of failing myself as I am at failing others. Letting someone else down is far worse to me than letting myself down. Which is silly and clearly backward. Because at the end of the day I’m the one I have to live with. I am the one who will keep me awake at night.

Despite all my fears and reservations, my first day went without a hitch like all other first days. Do I change. Do I finally realize I'm just fine and I will remain just dandy, no I think not. I guess I’m simply destined for rioting rebellious butterflies at every new thing. I guess that it might just be a sign I care, and that really is the only important thing.